Six tips to turn light chats into deep talks at holiday gatherings
Ask novel questions; try a creative icebreaker; and make talk meaningful. These and other ways can help spark ‘conversation chemistry.’
Advice by Juli Fraga for The Washington Post
Holiday gatherings are often a time when we reconnect with old friends or make new ones. But for some of us, social events pile on pressure, especially if “small talk” isn’t our superpower.
Here are some ways to make your conversations sparkle.
Meeting someone new? Ask novel questions.
Try these questions: “What is one thing you’re really looking forward to this holiday season?” or “What was one highlight of your year?”Questions like these convey curiosity, which opens up conversations. It also shows that you’re interested in learning more about the other person, which tells them that they matter.
Hoping to reconnect? Try a creative icebreaker.
If you’re hosting a big family dinner or work party, including fun icebreakers such as “If you were a celebrity, who would you be?” or “What’s one song that sums up your personality?” can get the conversational ball rolling, which can be enjoyable for everyone.
Tired of chitchat? Make talk meaningful.
Sharing something purposeful can promote closeness and reduce loneliness. This could be discussing your intentions for the new year or some wisdom that’s changed your life for the better. Or maybe it’s talking about a volunteer project or the best book you’ve read this year.
Shy? Come up with a party plan.
New social scenes can also be an opportunity to take a “safe risk.” This can be something small — saying “hi” to someone new or initiating a brief conversation — even if it’s awkward at first.
While stretching our social muscles can be uncomfortable, it allows us to experience the joy that human interactions can bring.
Looking for happiness? Express care.
For instance, if you’re talking with someone you just met, you might say, “I’ve really enjoyed learning more about you,” or “Thanks for introducing yourself; it was wonderful to meet you.”
Want to convey empathy? Follow up.
Conversations aren’t always joy-filled. You may bump into someone who’s struggling in some way. They may be heartbroken about world events or sad because a loved one died. Or perhaps they’re facing a scary illness or job uncertainty. In these cases, your kindness doesn’t need to stop once the conversation ends. Make a point to check in. Even sending a handwritten note that says, “I’m thinking of you,” expresses empathy, which goes a long way.
Read the full article here.