How to Set Boundaries With a Difficult Family Member
By Catherine Pearson for The New York Times
Distancing yourself from a family member is not the same as ignoring that person, she writes. Distancing might mean putting time and space between you and your relative (for example, declining invitations or staying in a hotel during family holidays). Distancing could also mean engaging less with the person on an emotional level (for example, steering the conversation away from topics you’re not comfortable with or simply excluding that person from certain areas of your life).
If you want to maintain a relationship with a difficult family member because it ultimately feels worth it to you, acceptance — and strategic distancing — can give you some peace, Ms. Tawwab writes, but it won’t be easy.
“You will have to do the work to accept situations, and build patience for what is outside your control,” she writes. “Remember that dealing with certain problematic behaviors is a choice.”
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